


No one you can save who can't be saved (All you need is Love)

by IndulgentDiscourse



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, IPRE crew as family - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 22:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21026123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndulgentDiscourse/pseuds/IndulgentDiscourse
Summary: A look at family and forgiveness after the defeat of The Hunger





	No one you can save who can't be saved (All you need is Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "All you need is love" by the Beatles
> 
> I'm back on my bullshit of combining Beatles music with Balance. If you have issue with this, go look at the lyrics to this song and then come look me in the eye and tell me it isn't perfect for Balance

They had dinners as a family every Saturday. Or, at least, they tried. 

In the beginning, it was hard. 

Davenport, with his mind freshly returned to him, struggled to form complete sentences when he wasn’t fully enveloped on a task. The rest of the time he stammered and hummed and hawed through conversations, attempting to fill in the gaps with what little sign language he’d picked up over the years when his static-filled mind allowed him to hold onto it. There were still days where all he could do was sit by the window and watch the world go by around him, comforted by Merle and Magnus and Barry, and hovered over anxiously by Lucretia in the background. 

She was too scared to try and get close yet. 

Merle grieved. He didn’t think he would ever miss John, and while he certainly didn’t miss the Hunger and the century spent trying to avoid dying- and nearly half a century of being killed- he missed John, his... friend? Yeah, Merle liked to think that by the end John considered him a friend. At least, he hoped. He hoped that somewhere, John was finally happy. Finally content just to  _ exist _ . It still felt weird to mourn him, though. It was another weight that Merle carried, just like he still carried the guilt from his past mistakes. 

Lup struggled. Her body would take at least another two months to be finished, and in that time she struggled with life carrying on around her, with her as an active participant. In the umbrella, she had no choice but to learn endless patience and watch as the world went on around her. But once she was free, things became very different. No longer was she a silent observer, she was once more an active participant. That was great! It was what she had wanted for over a decade. But then it got to be too much. There would be times when that great crushing darkness of velvet curtains would come down on her again, and she would flee in a rush of shadowy mass and sparking electricity. She suffered loosing control, something she thought she had mastered decades ago, on a daily occurrence. She couldn’t stand the feel of velvet. She couldn’t stand to be alone anymore. She couldn’t stand the dark. Even little things that used to bring her such joy would overwhelm her and leave her a shuddering mess that looked a little too inhuman for anyone besides Barry and Taako to get close to. She couldn’t cook with her brother. She couldn’t spar with Magnus. She clung to her family like a life preserver, and felt ashamed of needing such closeness. 

Barry was a very smart man, but even the effects of his decade of living on his own as a lich, barely remembering anything, separated from his family and cast in the light of a villain took a toll on him. Even if he knew that they had all been Voidfished, it didn’t stop the panic in his heart when Magnus yelled a little too loudly at him in a joking argument. It didn’t stop the anxiety when Taako snapped at him a little too harshly. He, like Lup, hated to be alone anymore. A century of love that he cherished, a love that defined him, a family created from the ruins of their past world had been snatched from him in less that five minutes. The love of his life had been lost to him.  _ He had seen Lup’s brother- a man he regarded as a brother himself- brag to him about finding her body and looting it.  _ Now, he got to watch as the family he loved struggled to piece themselves back together. 

Magnus hurt. He was used to hurting, used to taking the biggest hits but this was the one thing that he couldn’t protect everyone from. How could you prepare for betrayal from within? How could you protect those you loved from the very people you were protecting? Lucretia was like a little sister to him- she had been, all those years. As the youngest two on the ship, they were the babies of the family, no matter how much they’d protested it. Of course Magnus would forgive his sister, that was out of the question- but it still  _ hurt _ to watch everyone struggle to put themselves back together. He was supposed to keep something like this from happening. Magnus blamed himself. He should’ve known, should’ve seen something wasn’t right- He failed. 

Taako was angry. He had been prickly before, basically his entire life, but that wasn’t always true anger. It wasn’t the white-hot  _ fury _ he felt when he had pointed that damned umbrella at Lucretia, wasn’t the same kind of rage that made his lip curl and voice shake and throat tight as he prepared to absolutely destroy someone who he had realized had once been family. Someone who had  _ stolen _ his. That rage had settled into a roiling anger that stayed tight within his chest every time he saw Lucretia anxiously hover around Davenport as he choked out simple phrases. It bubbled up again whenever Lup would try and help him in the kitchen, only to loose control over what looked to an outsider like the littlest things- one minute she’d be laughing with him over an old story, the next she’d try and reach for the salt and then red bolts of electricity would whip uncontrollably off her body and she’d turn go from the familiar sight of his sister-who-happened-to-be-a-lich and a being of extreme power on the verge of collapse as disastrous as a supernova. The anger would boil over and Lucretia and Barry would come running into the kitchen to see what was the matter and Taako would whip around from where he was trying to guide Lup through a pointless breathing exercise to snarl at Lucretia to  _ get out _ and he and Barry would go back to guiding Lup back to them. On the worst nights, when everyone else was asleep, he would roll out of Kravitz’s embrace (the reaper slept like the dead) and think about everything that happened to him as a result of Lucretia’s meddling. He’d killed Barry, just blasted him off the ship. He’d looted his sister’s corpse, and bragged about it to his family. He wondered if his treatment at the hands of Sazed would have happened at all if Lucretia hadn’t done what she did. On those nights, the anger would rise and he’d spend the rest of the night studying magic or baking. 

Lucretia just... stepped out. She stepped away from her family and put herself back into her work at the Bureau of Benevolence. She worked until she either passed out at her desk, no longer having Davenport there to wake her, or she would work until Killian would force her to remove herself from the office and to her room or off base entirely. She preferred it that way. It hurt less than seeing her family struggle to piece themselves back together from the damage she’d caused. It felt good to do her work for the B.O.B., like she was undoing the hurt she’d caused. In a way she was. It wasn’t enough. She doubted it would be ever be enough. She made time to check in on everyone, of course. Angus was very happy at Lucas’ school, though she guessed that it was a little underwhelming for such a smart boy. At least he got to keep his job as a detective. Carey and Killian were planning for their wedding, and on occasion they would barge their way into her office for her opinion on cake or color themes or venues. It was harder to keep tabs on the others, though. Davenport was getting better at speaking, but some days were better than others, just as they had been when he was under her care. Merle sagged under a weight he didn’t tell anyone about. He was reaching out to his kids, but whenever he talked with Lucretia there was a sadness in those eyes of his that went deeper beyond the regular scope of their tragedy. It hurt Lucretia to Magnus struggle. He, Merle, Lup and Barry were the most forgiving of her family. He had been her big brother on their century-long journey, but he had grown up in the decade since she enacted her plan. He carried a weight that the rest of them didn’t- he told her once, while carving a block of wood into something that wasn’t a duck for once that he didn’t know how to help everyone. He didn’t know how to help Davenport on the days where their captain just curled up on himself in his windowsill, didn’t know how to talk to Merle about The Hunger, didn’t know how to talk to Barry without upsetting him, didn’t know how to help the twins on their of their bad days when Lup broke down or the days when Taako refused to leave his room. He hadn’t met Lucretia’s eyes when he said he didn’t know how to help her forgive herself. Barry might have been one of the more forgiving members of their family, but the first time she stopped by the Neverwinter apartment he shared with the twins, he refused to look her in the eye as he told her exactly what he thought of her plan, and the heart-wrenching story of his twelve years as the villain. She was in tears by the time he told her of his first death and rebirth all alone, and was sobbing by the time he finished. He left her to her own devices while he talked, but when he had finished talking, he pulled her into a hug. Lup was the most forgiving of the twins. Her death and capture in the umbra staff wasn’t anyone’s fault but hers. That fact that it took a lot longer than expected to be found wasn’t... ideal, to say the least. Lup never held it against her, oftentimes working to soften the blows that Taako spat at her. It never worked. Taako, on the other hand, was a completely different story. The first time that she’d show up at their door to check in on them, he’d answered. Taako opened the door to see Lucretia standing there, only to promptly slam it shut again and audibly click the lock. 

However, things were getting better. 

After one Saturday night when Taako had accidentally cooked for seven out of habit, Lup and Barry had taken the initiative to call everyone up to get some dinner. At first, Taako had protested this. 

“No, c’mon Lup, we could have leftovers for weeks if we freeze some of it!” (Seeing as Lup couldn’t eat in her lich form, Taako had only supposed to be cooking for himself and Barry. There was  _ so much _ extra food.) 

Sure enough, it hadn’t taken long for Magnus, Merle, and Davenport to arrive. While the kitchen was busy with all the boys mobbing her poor brother for chicken parmesan, Lup snuck away to make a call. Soon enough, there came another knock on the door. 

“Who is it? I swear to Istus if it’s more paparazzi, I’ll magic missile them all,” Taako shouted from the kitchen. Taako turned to Barry, who had been about to sit down with his dinner. “Barold, go get it.” Barold frowned and gestured to Magnus, who had just snuck seconds. “Make him go get it!” Magnus, with his mouth full of chicken, ground out, “You go get it!” 

The knock sounded again. 

“Someone just get the damn door!” hollered Merle from where he had taken residence on the couch. 

“I’ll get it,” Lup decided. She glided across the living room and threw open the door to reveal Lucretia, standing awkwardly in the hallway. 

“Lucy! Come on it, dinner’s just being served.” Lup guided Lucretia into the living room. 

“Who is it?” Taako called from the kitchen, not bothering to even poke his head around the doorway. 

“Come and see for yourself, lazy.” 

Taako finally pushed himself up from his seat in the kitchen and sauntered into the living room. 

“I swear, if Ango managed to get time away from that school for  _ this _ but not for magic lessons I’ll-“ 

He was cut off mid sentence and stood there for a moment, blinking at Lucretia. She gave a little wave. 

“ _ Absolutely not _ .” “Taako!” Lup scolded. “Just give her a chance-“ “Abso-fucking-lutely not! I refuse to-“ Lup turned to Lucretia. “Can you give us a moment?” “Of course- you know, I can just go, I don’t want to intrude-“ “Nonsense!” Lup replied brightly, cutting off Taako’s suggestions of just how fast she could leave. “Taako, we’re having Twin Time. Right now, in your room. Let’s go.” Summoning her power, she managed to form a corporeal grip on Taako’s wrist and gently pull him towards his bedroom while he complained the whole time. 

The walls were not very soundproof, so everybody just pretended not to hear the twins argue. 

“Cretia!” Magnus bounded over and pulled her into a bear hug so strong that her back popped. She tentatively wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged back. “Magnus, it’s so good to see you too!” 

Merle waddled over, giving her an affectionate pat on the hip. “How’s it going, kiddo? How’s the B.O.B. going without us?” She returned with a warm smile. “We’re managing as best as we can.” Davenport, who had been leaning in the doorway to the kitchen with a glass of wine, nodded to her. “Lucretia.” She nodded back. “Captain.” 

Down the hall, voices rose. 

“How could you forget what she did to you? What she did to all of us?”

“I’m not forgetting! I wouldn’t want to, ever! Gods knows she’s made her mistakes, but it’s not like the rest of us are so squeaky clean, either!” 

“So you should know better than anyone else why I don’t want her here! I’m done with her!” 

“She’s family, Taako! You don’t just throw away family!” 

“She’s not my family anymore. That ended the moment she decided to tear us apart!” 

Barry finally poked his head around the door to the kitchen. 

“Would anyone like some wine?” 

“Gods, yes,” Lucretia rasped. 

In the time it took for her to drain her first glass, the voices fell quiet again, though they could all hear the murmurs of the intense debate. 

After a few minutes, the door opened again. Taako stalked past her, back into the kitchen, where he began doing something that clattered pots and pans. Lup looked at Lucretia apologetically as she glided past. “Sorry about that. It’s chicken parmesan night, would you like some?” 

Lucretia did her best to bite back a grimace. “I think I’ll pass, if that’s alright.” Remembrance dawned in Lup’s eyes. “That’s right, you don’t like marinara. Sorry, Lucy, I’ll see if I can get you some chicken without the sauce or something-“ Lup was cut off as Taako once again stalked into the living room, this time carrying a steaming plate of breaded chicken with the marinara replaced with alfredo sauce. He didn’t look her in the eye, only handed Lucretia the plate and stormed back into the kitchen again. 

Barry slipped back into the kitchen to find Taako struggling with the fancy bottle opener and fresh bottle of wine.

“Here,” he offered, taking the bottle and opening it with ease. Taako sniffed at the wine and swirled it, eyeing Barry. 

“Ten years posing as a fighter really gave you some muscles, huh Barold?” 

Barry didn’t take the bait, instead grabbing two fresh glasses from the cabinet. 

“Why did you do it?” “Do what?” Taako asked, feigning ignorance as he poured a glass for Barry and himself. “You know what.” Taako sighed. “She’s a guest, and guests don’t go hungry in Taako’s place.” 

That was the first dinner. Over the next few months, things got progressively better. It became tradition. Now, Saturday nights became chaotic messes filled with laughter and shouting and joy. 

“Lulu, hand me the garlic? I need to add it soon so it can cook before the rest of it’s finished.” 

Lup took one last gulp from the beer stolen from Barry and slid it down the counter, using her mage hand to grab the garlic from where it rested on the far side of the kitchen island. She hip-checked Taako as she did, reveling in physical sensation again. Someone knocked on the door, and Lup shouted, “Barry! Get the door!” 

Barry, who had been banned from the kitchen for the night for Food Crimes, was sprawled on the couch engrossed in a book titled “How To Practice Necromancy In A God Honoring Way”. “It’s open,” he called, lazily turning another page. The door opened and in stepped Angus, accompanied by Kravitz. Barry quickly hid the necromancy tome beneath the couch cushion and leapt up to be a good host. Lup popped her head around the doorway and grinned. 

“Koko, it’s your mans.” She barely had to say anything before Taako was out of the kitchen and in a flash he had ruffled Angus’ hair and thrown himself into Kravitz’s arms, kissing him indulgently. “Babe,” he chastised when he finally pulled away, “I told you that you didn’t need to dress up for family dinner!” Kravitz plucked self-consciously at his button down, dress pants, and smart Oxford shoes. “I’m dressed down, I don’t even have a vest or suit jacket.” 

“For shame, Grim,” Lup heckled from where she was pouring Angus a glass of juice in the kitchen, clad in a pair of cutoff jorts that were originally Barry’s and were therefore several sizes too big, rolled up at the waist and a shirt that read  _ baby slut _ in sparkly pink letters. “Can’t believe you didn’t get the dress code.” 

Before long, someone didn’t so much as knock at the door as burst inside. “Hey everyone,” Magnus called as he let himself in. “The party has arrived!” 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Mags,” Taako sneered. “Merle’s got the most party points and you know it.” Catching sight of Angus where the boy was shifting uncomfortably on the couch, (it felt like there was something under it, like a book. Weird.) Magnus rushed forwards and scooped Angus up, making him shriek with laughter. 

Taako ducked back into the kitchen as Lup, Barry, and Kravitz began to set the living room table. He tossed the stir fry in the wok a few times before working on the final touches. More knocks came from the door and a larger chorus of voices answered with a resounding “COME IN!” 

Davenport and Merle arrived, each carrying a bottle of wine. 

“Cap’n’port!” Magnus cheered when they entered. “You’re back? How was the trip?” 

Davenport made the rounds greeting everyone before settling back to tell stories from his latest trip at sea. 

Taako brought the massive bowl of stir-fry out to the table where everyone was seated. 

Lup did a quick count. “One, two three... six, seven eight. We’re missing one. Where’s Cretia?” 

There came a knock on the door. 

Taako strode the the door, opening it. There in the hallway stood Lucretia, he first still raised to knock again. 

“Ah... Hello, everyone, sorry I’m late; There were some HR complaints that Brad had to run by me and he just didn’t stop talking, and- well, I’m here now.” 

Wordlessly, Taako stepped aside and let her in. He closed the door, and took a moment to breathe. That anger, that fury was still there in his chest, but it didn’t roil and threaten to burn over anymore. It was just a part of his new normal. He took his place at the table again as Magnus passed the dish of stir-fry around while Angus passed the rice bowl the opposite way. Barry and Lup refilled their wine glasses and laughed as Merle stuck his chopsticks under his top lip like a walrus. Kravitz and Davenport began a heated discussion about the best method of music rearrangement for soprano voices as compared to pianos, and Taako took a moment to make eye contact with Lucretia across the table. He raised his glass of wine and tapped it with a fork. 

“Listen, I might not be the best at speeches here but chaboi’s got a lot to say.” He faltered for a moment before carrying on. “I just- this has been a hard time for all of us. We’ve all been going through lots of shit- and that’s hard. We’ve all been working really hard to get better from where we started out and- I. We can’t undo what’s been done, we can’t take back what’s been said, but we can go forward from where we are. It’s been really fuckin’ hard this year, and we can’t forget all of that, but. I think that we’re meant to be here. If it’s fate or divine intervention or whatever- we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t meant to be. So,” Taako shrugged, “Here’s so, I don’t know, love or some shit. Cuz we’re family, and we’ve gotta stick together.” 

Magnus raised his glass with a hearty, “Here, here!” Davenport raised his glass as well. 

“Here’s to family!” He managed the words clearly, and smiled in spite of himself. 

“Here’s to joy,” Merle cheered. 

“Here’s to family,” Lup agreed. 

“Here’s to forgiveness,” Lucretia said, and smiled softly up at Taako. He didn’t return the expression but his face relaxed some. 

“Here’s to love,” Barry said, joining the toast. 

“Here’s to family,” Taako said, and the glasses clinked together. Magnus resumed passing the food dish around and everybody went back to their conversations. Angus began eagerly discussing the latest Caleb Cleveland book with Lucretia, but she would glance around the table every so often, taking in everyone’s expressions at her presence. Across the table, she locked eyes with Taako. His lips quirked upwards, and a century’s worth of knowing him told her that one day, maybe not today, but someday, things would be alright. 

After all, they were a family. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you liked it. I'm begging you


End file.
